Deja Vu
by DoctorWhovian18
Summary: Tag to 'The Witch's Familiar'. Spoilers for the episode, so I've written the summary inside. Hope you all enjoy :)


**I thought it was better to put the summary in here, considering how new the episode is.**

 **Summary: Being inside a Dalek sets loose a string of memories locked inside Clara's mind of another time where her body was hooked up to the most dangerous being in the universe, and the terror seizes her. Based partially on my own theories and in-universe truth.**

 **A short, hopefully intense one-shot that I needed to write after all the intense-ness of 'The Witch's Familar'.**

Clara Oswald didn't really remember the hundreds and thousands of different lives she's lived. Each and every time she's saved the Doctor don't really exist in her mind.

Unless something happens to make her remember.

For example, when she and the last Doctor visited Victorian England and dealt with Mrs Gillyflower, Clara had experiences strange flashbacks where she was a barmaid, and then others where she was a nanny. Just flashes, nothing more and certainly nothing unpleasant.

Sometimes a flash of a rainbow scarf would trigger a memory, or a recorder, but again it would rarely cause her any more stress than a brief headache or moment of confusion.

But the instant Missy plugged the wires into the sides of her head, Clara was seized with terror.

At first that was all it was, just terror. Unexplained, bone chilling fear. Then, even as Missy instructed her on how to move and she obeyed, rather reluctantly, the memories began.

Just flashes. A red dress. An aria from the opera _Carmen_. The Daleks...the truth.

Then the Dalek Clara is currently sitting in closes and she knows a true panic attack is just around the corner.

She cries out to Missy, trying to convey her terror, but she knows that the Time Lady didn't give her any thought beyond keeping her alive for the Doctor's sake (and even then she wasn't sure if Missy made too much of an effort not to get her killed, just not to be the one to kill her). True enough, Missy watches as the Dalek closes and tells Clara to practice speaking.

More fear hits as Clara starts saying things like, 'My name is Clara', and, 'I love you'...and they come out as, 'I am a Dalek', and, 'Exterminate'.

Because she remembers saying the same thing as the truth hit her in that blank white room on the Dalek Asylum.

Throughout the rest of the next hour or so, as she follows Missy into the centre of the building while the Time Lady pretends to be a prisoner, Clara struggles to keep a grip on her sanity. She's breathing harshly and fast, grateful that it didn't come through in the Dalek voice.

She does her best to act the role, but because of her fear, she isn't as quick thinking as normal. Luckily, Missy is.

Then there's a period of time where Clara doesn't have to say anything, or even move, and it hits her. The thought. The thought she had been trying to keep at bay since being trapped inside the Dalek.

 _Back then, the Doctor told me that everything I thought was real was merely my mind coping with the horror of the truth. What if all of this, everything that has happened, is exactly the same._

For a moment, Clara swears her heart stops beating and she doesn't register much that happens next, except when Missy runs out of the room. Despite her questioning whether her surroundings are real or not, she follows, because she cannot bear the thought of being alone. Even if the alternative is someone she has conditioned herself to see as the enemy.

She loses Missy soon after and stops, her only solace being that the Time Lady (hopefully with another Time Lord in tow) would probably come back the same way.

Time passes. It seems like a lot of time, although in reality it isn't even twenty minutes.

What is reality?

Am I real?

Is this real?

She tries to say her name again and all that rings in her ears is, "I am a Dalek!"

Then she hears the Doctor's voice and she tries to speak to him. He mentions her name, he's asking where she is. Missy is pretending she doesn't know, pretending that the Dalek approaching the Doctor is one that _killed_ Clara, instead of revealing that it is Clara herself. Clara wants to kill Missy for that, as she can see that the Doctor is holding a Dalek gun and he _will_ shoot if he truly believes Missy's tale.

Clara manages to say something that makes the Doctor stop and think. "Don't do it, don't kill me!" Which translates to, "Mercy! Mercy!"

It's only a matter of seconds later that the Doctor is telling her to think _Open_ and he is there, pulling the neurons out of her head, telling her it will be alright, and hugging her.

And finally, _finally_ , she knows that it _is_ all real. That she is not a Dalek. That she is with her Doctor, and if she is with her Doctor then everything will be alright.

 **There we go :) I hope everyone enjoyed it ^_^ My first DW one-shot. Please let me know what you thought :)**


End file.
